The latest ‘reason why Dan’s a fail’ that ruins my life - I mumble.
new video guys! please help me out by reblogging this and i’ll check out a bunch of your blogs to say thanks :) hope u enjoy
I FUCKING HATE SOCIAL ANXIETY BECAUSE YOU’RE SCARED TO TALK TO PEOPLE BUT ALSO DYING TO TALK TO PEOPLE AND HANG OUT AND RELAX AND HAVE FUN AND NOT BE ALONE AND LONELY AND FEEL LIKE SHIT BUT YOU DO FEEL LIKE SHIT BECAUSE YOU CAN’T EVEN RELAX ENOUGH TO TALK TO PEOPLE WITHOUT OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING
So, in between teaching, I’m also fixing some legal stuff since the company is new and it’s a foreign company and the government said even though I’m employed there, that still makes me a freelancer here which makes filing taxes much more effed up since the company’s paying taxes there as well. There is a tax exempt law but trust me they made the process so hard to do it’s fucked up. I’m also creating a curriculum for ze learning company, translating, writing for the website and also recording podcasts. Oh, and we’re sorta building a school so…
It’s fun because I get to do it anywhere in ze world (except for the legal stuff) but I’m also like a zombie since it will feel like I don’t exist because I’m just staring at the computer doing stuff. When I went to Singapore, I was still working and I only get to meet a friend there. I wasn’t able to meet the rest of ‘em. :( I was there, but I’m not there. I’m here, but I’m not here.
The rest of my hours are done either in deep slumber or taking care of my 4 dogs which are all filled with 5-year-old kids’ energy. I am also, finally, a nocturnal being as I should be ever since. I get to sleep at 4-7am and wake up at 1-3pm or sleep some more (it usually takes 12 hours). We’re all different. I’m a fucking bear and I hibernate or else I will not function.
I have limited social skills. Being a teacher, you need to have a level 9000 social skill. I probably have 300. Got the numbers from a legit laboratory of social skills department - if you’re taking this seriously come back in a few weeks. My social skills are being pushed to its limits since I talk to different people(mostly europeans) and I need to adjust my language to their level, teach them to improve it, and at the same time be really interesting which isn’t me as you can see you’re probably drooling right now.
By the time I’m done with whatever I need to do to survive, whatever’s left of me is put into writing. I’m slowly building a new world at the same time building complex characters - but not too complex for the sake of it. I’m getting to know them, making them detach from who I am. Knowing that we write what we know I’ll pray my schizo tendencies kicks in and create something.
I’m also in a weight management program because I’m .09% of fat away from being overweight. It’s easy to follow the program really, and so far I’ve lost 1.6kg. That same week I ate 4 slices of pan pizza and felt sick. Still, that’s the easy part.
In that program, it’s almost like church. There are a bunch of people, sharing their experiences of weight loss or gain, and then a lecture and then more social stuff. So after all the social stuff squeezed out of me through teaching and through world building/everyday stuff with a gazzilion people in the house, I have to socialize there too.
I - nope.
Just- I want at least 5 hours of me not talking to anybody everyday, not including my sleep hours.
Through all that, I haven’t mentioned friends. Friends friends friends friends.
I have a few, which is good for me and I usually go to their house and play monopoly/binge watch some series/eat out maybe once every 2 weeks. However, if they live more than hour away, my desperate way to make contact is through social media, which isn’t much. *le sigh*
Oh oh, I almost forgot all the physical shit that’s happening. My asthma got worse because summer’s over and the transition always spells DEATH! My dermatographia has died down tremendously. That’s a good thing. However, my allergies got worse. I lost my sense of smell for a week because of the nasal spray. It also gives me high blood pressure if I use it for more than 3 days. Teaching with blocked nostrils is always fun, sounding weird and all that. Teary eyes, irritable nose, sneezing. So much fun.
Oh, oh, aside from all that, a very important exam is up. It’s about teaching and literature. I need to reread about 30 canons from different periods and relearn everything I learned in high school. Math, fuck you. I’ll probably fail the damn thing. Let’s move on, this is depressing.
I hope I’m getting better in Japanese now because I’m finally formally learning the damn thing. My final exam is tomorrow and I need to remember more than a hundred words. Kuso.
Family problems, woohoo. I have a few, but now it’s boiled over - that’s not the term is it? the idiom? Whatever.
I’m also concerned about how I look now. I’m taking care of my skin more since the dermatographia looses its grip on me. I’m able to buy skinfood products and really take care of my dry skin. Yes, I have girl problems despite…inspite… man, I need to relearn English. Ironic.
Now that you know, everything’s good.
A guy friend once tried to joke around by saying even the smallest size of a sports bra wouldn’t fit me, but he didn’t mention anything- he just showed me what I thought was a tank top. I took it as a compliment because the tank top looked fit. I also don’t mind having small boobs because I like to run and do a lot of physical work that would’ve been harder if I had anything bigger than what I have. So I just genuinely said thanks.
He proceeded to say it was just a joke and I still didn’t get it. Until he painfully implied that he was talking about my boobs.